I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
