You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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