my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
