he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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