There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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