i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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