I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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