I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
