? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
