Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize