You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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