lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
