i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
