So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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