I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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