my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
