We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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