why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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