im six kinds of drunk right now
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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