It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
