Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
