They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
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If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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