Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
