She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
