i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize