So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
