Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
