You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
