What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
