How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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