You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
