i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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