She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
