addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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