We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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