no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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