U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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