Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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