i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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