lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I AM VODKA MAN
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
