You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
