dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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