my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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