Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
