Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
