I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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