What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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