can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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