She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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