By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Drunk is a universal language darling
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