Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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