I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
