last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
